pre departure.

well today is december 20th. i leave in 16 days.  it is such a crazy feeling to know that in like two weeks ill be gone to france for like six months.  im freaking out, my life is about to change like no other for half a year.  i know that i will get used to things, but right now its not.  i cant wait for these new experiences dont get me wrong, i know that its going to amazing.  

i just want to know that i am leaving things here back home okay.  it'll make for a bad trip if things end on sour notes.

this trip will probably have me do some soul searching as to what i really want in life, where i want to be, and if what i am doing in life fulfills who i want to be- because right now im not sure if everything is the way i want them to be.

i think that the things that are keeping back are the worries i have for my family and the people that i love most...all the holidays and events that i am going miss (ie.  eight birthdays, parent's anniversary, lindsay/melissa's graduation, and all the other things that i cant think of at the moment)...and the fear of being alone for so long.